Soul on Fire...

Have you ever spent time with an addict?  If you have you know their life revolves around getting their next fix.  Even a fully functioning addict can’t keep from thinking about when and where that next fix is coming from.  Everything else in life falls to the side.  No one matters anymore.  Life is about the fix.

In 1978 I was blessed with an adorable baby brother who grew up to be one of the sweetest kids out there.  He would of done anything for me growing up.  My dad often said I was “Queen Bea” and he was my servant.  He gave his heart to God when he was around 8—he had a huge heart and was full of love for the Lord.  As a teen he continued to have a big heart-- if he had money he gathered up his friends and bought the pizza.  He wanted everyone around him to be happy.  I often wonder if that is how he so easily got into drugs.  Did he smoke that first joint because his friends were doing it and he joined in to make them happy?  Did he move on to meth to make money so he could continue to use money to make his friends happy? 

My brother hit his first bottom around 2003 and after some time in jail we hoped he would stay clean.  He did not and shortly was back in jail.  He played the in and out jail game for bit and finally had his day in court.  He was given 5 years of probation, drug classes and weekly visits to pee in a cup.  During this time my brother did really well.  He was clean, got his plumbing license, met a great girl and married her.  With each passing year I gained more confidence that he would stay clean.  I was happy that my brother was clean, but he still wasn’t my little brother.  The sweet guy with a big heart that I grew up with seemed to be hiding still. 

My brother had been clean over 7 years when things seemed to be off a little.  We noticed drinking and sketchy behavior.  Sure enough he was doing something again.  Before it got to bad his wife and my parents stepped in.  Reluctantly he went to a Celebrate Recovery meeting.  He was totally against going to hear some former addict turned holier than thou Christian tell how good life could be.  I went to high school with that “holier than thou Christian” and was wondering myself how legit it would be.

Jump ahead to present day and I am happy to report I witnessed a miracle a few days ago.  I watched my brother and this “holier than thou Christian” I knew in high school at a youth conference jumping up and down dancing around for God.  Their souls were on fire!  Tears of joy were coming down my face as visions of my little brother with his heart on fire for God were popping in my head.  For this first time in I don’t know how many years I finally felt relief.  Relief that my brother is really back and there won’t ever be a next time.

Today driving to work I heard Third Day’s song “Soul on Fire” and my mind went to back to the youth conference and seeing my brother with his soul on fire.  It hit then what an awesome God we have.  Only God can take an addict and change his fix.  That’s what He did!  He took hold of my brother when he first started going to Celebrate Recovery and slowly changed his focus from the drugs to Him.  He set his soul on fire for Him.  What an awesome and powerful message that is.  When God wants to make a statement he doesn’t go get the perfect Christian he goes to the gutters and grabs hold of the drug addicts’ heart and shows them what a real high is.  I thank God every day for grabbing hold of that guy I knew in high school’s heart.  He made him whole again and then gave him a voice so that he could go share his testimony and bring others back to God.  He helped God bring my brother back to me. 

1 John 1:5 God is light and in him there is no darkness. J

1 comment:

  1. thanks for sharing this, Kelly Bea! I'm so proud of Russell and so thankful to GOD!!


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