I have so much I want to say and don't know where to begin. In my 39 years of life I have changed so much. I was a super shy girl who followed the crowd and only those who were really close to me truly knew me. Than in college I starting finding myself and coming into my own. I think it was after a few years of marriage and having my boys that I truly became who I was suppose to be. That I found my wings! I had to though my boys needed someone to stand up for them and love them through everything. My husband also needed a strong woman by his side supporting him. So for them I came out of my shell, I found my voice and for them I wasn't afraid to use it. As time went on I became strong for me as well. :)
Having a voice is one thing. Knowing when to use it is another. The thing with people today is they think they can use it whenever they want to. It's not necessary to always give your opinion and your opinion is not always written in stone. We need to learn to not only choose our words wisely, but WHEN to use them.
I work as a substitute teacher in a middle and high school. Talk about judging that is a place of judges. I love my students, but man can they be brutal. It breaks my heart sometimes how hard they are on each other. I think a great reading requirement would be Dropping Your Rock by Nicole Johnson. It's awesome read about rock throwing. How everyone was so quick to throw rocks at the woman at the well for her sin and Jesus said "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone". Slowly everyone dropped there rock and walked away because NO ONE is without sin! No one should be judging another person when they are out making mistakes themselves.
So friends can be awesome and horrible. Maybe it's best if we love a little more and judge a little less. More than likely you are going to go through what your friend went through and they can help you through it so you don't make the mistake they made.
What's worse than friends? How about family? Aren't they supposed to love us unconditionally? Oh, they do, but there are strings attached. Strings of advice, judgement and anything they feel they can throw at you because they are family. I grew up in a big family and it had its perks, but when I messed up everyone was quick to jump on me, tell me how to improve and what not. I hear it still goes on today, but I live 4 hours away now so I don't have to hear it like I use to.
When I married Kevin I gained another big family! We are lucky to have awesome family around us and loving us. When you gain a family you have to learn them just like they have to learn you. They have to learn to let go as you become your own little family--a branch off the family tree. You have to learn to make sure and keep them a part of your new little family. That's the things about family it constantly changing and branching off. You have to learn to go with it because each little family unit within the big family is just trying to do what is best for there family.
There was one person who always knew how to give advice and that was Mema. She was amazing. She never rushed in on you and made you feel worthless because she knew we already knew we had messed up. She would just a wrap a arm around us and tell us she loved us and than tell us what we needed to hear. The thing is she did it the right way. I sure do miss her! I can hear her now saying "Now Kelly Bea..."
I think family and friends should spend less time up in each other business judging and more time being there and supporting each other. Look around we have all made mistakes--similar mistakes--so quit acting like your better or your mistakes are less than her mistakes. Stop being judge and juror and just be friend and/or family. Just be there for each other. Give good advice, listen when you need to listen and LOVE all the time. Leave the judgement for the only One who really can judge any of us.
And just let the enemies talk all they want because what do they matter anyway...