Sunday Scriptures: Psalm 139

Psalm 139: The Heart

I have been reading my Bible more and more lately.  I ran across this Psalm a few weeks back and keep going back to read it again and again.  In the first few verses David talks about how God has examined him and knows everything about him.  Then he talks about how God is always present in our lives.  Next is my favorite verses!  David talks of how God made us and knew our entire story before we even took a breath.  How amazing is that!  Finally, David prays against the wicked.

I want to focus on my favorite verses 13-16.

Before a single day passed He had our entire life planned out.  Every day of our life has been recorded in His book.  He saw us before we were born.  He loved us before we were born.  He made us perfect in our mothers womb.  He is perfect in His workmanship.

Isn't that amazing!  God created us in our mother's womb and loved us from the moment he thought of us.  He knows every part of our life--mistakes and all and loves us anyway.  These verses give me such comfort, peace and hope.  He made me, knows my story and loves me no matter what.

Take a moment and read Psalm 139.  I pray that you find comfort in this Psalm.

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

I have a tough shell.  It takes a lot for me to let someone in and truly get to know me.  I think my reason for this is because when I open the door I open it all the way so I want to be sure you are not going to hurt me.  I tend to feel to much, love to hard, care to deeply and forgive to easily.

Recently I started opening the door for someone despite what everyone was telling me and seeing the warning signs myself.  I tried to look past what I was told and form my own opinions.  I found that despite the issues this person had there was something there and it was slowly peeking through.  I actually was getting to a good place and feeling like things were starting to happen when a stupid lie made me slam my door shut real fast.  

Hearing other say things like I told you so or did you really think they would change was hard to hear.  I am usually a good judge, but I guess I didn't have the break through I thought I did.  I think the hardest part was the lie that was told was just so dumb and senseless.  WHY??? 

I have wondered the past couple of days what benefit would a person have for telling such a silly lie.  So I did some research on lying and found that there are two kinds of people those that tell little white lies and lairs.  Everyone has it in them to say that little white lie and when they do flat out lie they usually end up coming clean.  Habitual lairs on the other hand live in their own little reality.  The live a life full of deceit.  They are delusional.  A habitual liar is usually in love with themselves, a coward and has no real legs to stand on.

When I read this article I thought to myself seems like a pretty sad life.  I couldn't imagine.  Why would anyone want to live like this?  I just don't get what is so hard about telling the truth.  Especially when it is something so small.  Why lie and say you are going somewhere when you know you are not.  Why lie and say you went to Chicken Salad Chick when you actually went to Rosie's?  I just don't get it.

It's hard to close a door when you can see so much potential there, but sometimes you have to realize the battle is not ours.  All I can do is pray for strength in this struggle.

I love Pinterest!  Here are few things I found that I wanted to share...

What do you think?  Keep the door cracked or shut it and be done?  

Today I learned something that shocked me...

I have spent my whole life believing that if a person commits suicide they go to hell.  TODAY I LEARNED THAT IS NOT TRUE.  What?!?  I spent the day looking back on conversations I have had on the topic and can't remember a single time when I heard anything other than if you commit suicide you go to hell.  

So in the first few minutes of the sermon when the pastor asked "Does one go to hell when they commit suicide" and his answer was "no" I was all ears.  What??? In my 41 years of life I have never heard this; especially from a pastor.

He than referred to Romans 8:38

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love.  Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries for tomorrow--not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love.

He went on to mention that in the Bible there are at least 6 accounts of suicide and none of the six is condemned for taking his life.

In doing some research today I found that St. Augustine said that one who commits suicide can not repent after his death so he goes to hell.  But we all commit sins that we either don't ask forgiveness for or don't believe we are sinning.  We all die with sins we have not repented of.

What is important is that we asked God in our heart, that we are a Christian.  Once we ask God in our hearts He is always there.  He never leaves us.  We may choose the wrong path or commit sins, but He is always there.

This mornings sermon was something I needed.  I have lost friends/family to suicide and always wondered if I would see them again and now I have faith that I will.  We have an amazing God that loves us no matter what.  

Something I read today that really hit me was that instead of spending our time worrying if Christians who commit suicide go to Heaven we should be praying for those still with us who are in a place of despair and being dragged down that path.  So that is something I have added to my prayer list.  I will pray that they find the light or spark of joy that brings them out of whatever they are going through.

God knew...

So I went a little crazy for a beach towel last week.  Yeah, I am serious!  Sunday before last I was cruising a running group page on Facebook and saw a post for this cool finishers beach towel.  I popped the picture up so I could see the towel better and thought that's the run Natalie was talking about.  So I text her and said did you know you not only get a medal, but a really cool beach towel.  She didn't know and was excited.  I jokingly said I should do it with you.  I bet you can figure out how this story goes.

It's a good thing I signed up for the race that evening because I woke up the next morning with a sore leg.  Felt like a strained a muscle during the Hot Chocolate 15K so thought I would just take it easy this week and be ready for the half on Sunday.  All week I stretched it out, put an anti-inflammatory on it and took some ibuprofen.  Saturday as we were leaving for Birmingham to do the Mercedes-Benz Half Marathon I thought I would be good.  We did a lot of walking that day and when we got to the room I was hurting a bit and wondering would I make it through this half.

So much was going through my mind as I tried to sleep that night.  

1.  I bombed my first half and don't want to do it again.

2.  Will my leg make it 13.1 miles?

3.  9.3 miles is the longest run I have done since I did my first half back in November.

4.  Can I really do this? 

Sunday we are up at 5 AM and getting ready to go.  My leg is sore and I am nervous.  As we walk over to the start line I am saying little prayers and reminding myself that I rocked at 9.3 last week and I can do this.  I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.

Me, Natalie and Loren

The race starts, but I am back at the 11 minute pace area so it is 7:07 when I cross the start line.  Nat and I take off and I am feeling it, but going to push through and see what happens.  If my legs keeps me from running I will just walk it, but I am crossing that finish line and getting my towel and medal!

Natalie runs on ahead of me.  She can keep just under a 9:00 minute a mile pace so I knew I wouldn't be able to stay with her long.  Around mile 3 the pain goes away and I am feeling good.  Thank you Jesus!

That's me praying for strength

I am cruising along around mile 5 when I hear "hey girl" and look to my side to see Natalie?!?!  Confusion and than "are you okay" comes out of my mouth.  She says she is not sure what is going on, but she feels off.  Thinking maybe her sugar is low.  We all have off days so I tell her we just keep going together and cross that finish line even if we have to walk.  We got another mile or two in and we see a medic so she tells me to keep going that she is going to have them check her.  As she runs over to them I say a little prayer for her and keep going.

She rejoins me and says she is good, just feels off.  I feel bad for her, because I know she can run so much faster and was wanting to PR today.  We keep going, but I can tell she is not herself and it worries me a little.  We stop to walk and I am trying to encourage her and be positive--it's just a bad day we will finish today and you can go for a PR next time.  We start to run, but she still is feeling off.  I don't know what to do so we walk and I pray.  She stops to have someone check her again and tells me to keep going she'll catch up.  Should I stay with her?  Should I keep going?  I am so confused because I want to be there for her, but I am running so much better than I did my last half.  She tells me to go on so I do.

I make it to 10.1 miles before I am passed by the pace car for the full marathoner.  Woohoo! I made it a whole 10 miles before I was lapped.  Hehe!  At mile 11.2 my knees are killing me.  I don't know how to explain it other than to see it felt like my knee caps were going to pop out the sides of my legs.  I thought to myself I have hit my wall and am going to have to stop and walk these last 2 miles and ruin this good pace I have kept the whole race.  I was about in tears when I heard "I'm back" and there she was.  I told Nat I was dying that my knees were killing me.  She told me I had this and we're less than 2 miles from finishing and I could do it.  I knew she was feeling better and could of probably kept a better pace, but she stayed there with me and we just kept going.  She was my rock that got me to the finish line.

Me dying and Nat happy its almost over

Okay I am happy now, too.

Around mile 12 and half I looked up to see my friend, Vanessa on the side lines.  She was there to cheer her daughter on.  I saw her happy face and big smile as she begin to cheer for me and it gave me that last boost of energy to get to the finish line.

Less than a mile to go!

And we cross the finish line!  We survived.  We did it for ourselves, for each other and God!  I had a PR doing the half in 2:34:41.  Keeping a pace of 11:48.  A whole 23 minutes faster than my first half in November.  I needed this confidence booster!  I am so sorry Natalie had a bad day, but so thankful she was there to get me through that last 2 miles.  

 We did it!

God knew exactly what he was doing when that enticing beach towel popped up on my news feed.  He put Natalie and I together on that run so we could be there for each other and make sure we finished.  Because of Him and each other we ran and didn't grow weary.

But those that trust in the Lord will find new strength.  

They will soar on wings like eagles.  

They will run and not grow weary.

Isaiah 40:31

I choose love!

What an amazing God we have!  I am so thankful for Him this week.  It has been so difficult to read and hear all the negativity this week.  Thankfully, my Bible study and daily Bible readings have helped me to know that God is love!

You see I live in Alabama and this week same sex marriage was legalized.   For me this was not a big deal at all.  I was fortunate enough to grow up with some amazing people that taught me to show love to everyone and judge no one.  One of my very best friends growing up happened to be gay.  We ended up going to Murray State and were together all the time.  Out of the blue he started pulling away from me and I couldn't figure out why.  One evening I went to see him and just asked if I had done something.  He sat me down and said I have something really important to tell you and I don't know how you will react.  I said give it to me and he said "I'm gay" and I was like "yeah I think have kinda always known that" and things went back to normal for us.  I begin meeting his new friends and hanging out with them.  I was so happy to see him happy and feeling accepted and complete.

Maybe I am lucky because I had a few close gay people around me growing up and I know that just as much I was into the opposite sex they were into the same sex and our brains were wired that way from the get go.  Because we were so close I could ask questions I wouldn't be able to ask a stranger and that helped me to understand.  You see as a Christian I understand that the Bible says homosexuality is a sin, but having a friend that is gay I was able to understand from his point of view and that helped me tremendously.  My friend explained that for as long as he can remember he was always attracted to guys.  I said but you dated so and so for how many years and he explained because that is what I knew I was supposed to do.  After our many talks things started to click with me.  Flashbacks from middle and high school all seemed to make sense and I gained much understanding.  

I guess you can say I see both sides.  I know where the Bible says its a sin and I accept that.  I also believe that my friend was born the way he is.  He even stated multiple times to me "do you think I want to be this way being hated and misunderstand like this.  It's just how I have always felt so for me it is normal". So how can I say he is wrong or judge him.

For me that is the big thing in all this.  I have no business telling him or anyone they are wrong or judging them no matter what the Bible says is a sin.  The Bible list a lot of sins, it also says all sin is created equal and that the only one who can truly judge us is God.

I think we could all take a lesson from the story in John 8 where the woman who was caught in the act of adultery was about to be stoned.  Jesus steps in and says to the crowd "let he who is without sin cast a stone".  EVERY person dropped their rock and walked away because they all had sinned.  

I think it is time we all drop our rocks and instead work on growing our garden.  As Christians we can be seed planters and seed waters.  We can plant a seed in someone's life or come along and water a seed planted by someone else.  One can't grow a garden if they are constantly judging everything in it.

Matthew 7:12 "Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.  This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets."  I don't want anyone judging me so I try my best to not judge others.  Besides whatever I think doesn't matter anyway because I am not God.

Did you know that the phrase "love one another" is found at least a dozen times in the New Testament.  There is also an emphasis on LOVE in all 27 books of the Bible.  In Romans 12 starting at verse 9 Paul tells us to really love one another.  My study notes say Paul is telling us we need to love those inside and outside the church.  To have a sincere love for all.

1 John 4:8 tells us God is love.  He loved us so much that he sent his only son into the world so that we could have eternal life.  Jesus lived among us and endured an awful death just so that ALL our sins could be forgiven and we could have eternal life.

So yeah the bible does list a bunch sins that we all commit each day, but more and more I see where God is Love.  God is Light.  God is the one true King.  God is the only judge that matters.  So as Christians we need to drop our rocks, plant some seeds and water some gardens.  Leave the judging to God and just leave the hate altogether.

Yeah, I could be wrong, but when I get to Heaven and God questions me I want to say "I choose love and left the judging to you". 

Soul on Fire...

Have you ever spent time with an addict?  If you have you know their life revolves around getting their next fix.  Even a fully functioning addict can’t keep from thinking about when and where that next fix is coming from.  Everything else in life falls to the side.  No one matters anymore.  Life is about the fix.

In 1978 I was blessed with an adorable baby brother who grew up to be one of the sweetest kids out there.  He would of done anything for me growing up.  My dad often said I was “Queen Bea” and he was my servant.  He gave his heart to God when he was around 8—he had a huge heart and was full of love for the Lord.  As a teen he continued to have a big heart-- if he had money he gathered up his friends and bought the pizza.  He wanted everyone around him to be happy.  I often wonder if that is how he so easily got into drugs.  Did he smoke that first joint because his friends were doing it and he joined in to make them happy?  Did he move on to meth to make money so he could continue to use money to make his friends happy? 

My brother hit his first bottom around 2003 and after some time in jail we hoped he would stay clean.  He did not and shortly was back in jail.  He played the in and out jail game for bit and finally had his day in court.  He was given 5 years of probation, drug classes and weekly visits to pee in a cup.  During this time my brother did really well.  He was clean, got his plumbing license, met a great girl and married her.  With each passing year I gained more confidence that he would stay clean.  I was happy that my brother was clean, but he still wasn’t my little brother.  The sweet guy with a big heart that I grew up with seemed to be hiding still. 

My brother had been clean over 7 years when things seemed to be off a little.  We noticed drinking and sketchy behavior.  Sure enough he was doing something again.  Before it got to bad his wife and my parents stepped in.  Reluctantly he went to a Celebrate Recovery meeting.  He was totally against going to hear some former addict turned holier than thou Christian tell how good life could be.  I went to high school with that “holier than thou Christian” and was wondering myself how legit it would be.

Jump ahead to present day and I am happy to report I witnessed a miracle a few days ago.  I watched my brother and this “holier than thou Christian” I knew in high school at a youth conference jumping up and down dancing around for God.  Their souls were on fire!  Tears of joy were coming down my face as visions of my little brother with his heart on fire for God were popping in my head.  For this first time in I don’t know how many years I finally felt relief.  Relief that my brother is really back and there won’t ever be a next time.

Today driving to work I heard Third Day’s song “Soul on Fire” and my mind went to back to the youth conference and seeing my brother with his soul on fire.  It hit then what an awesome God we have.  Only God can take an addict and change his fix.  That’s what He did!  He took hold of my brother when he first started going to Celebrate Recovery and slowly changed his focus from the drugs to Him.  He set his soul on fire for Him.  What an awesome and powerful message that is.  When God wants to make a statement he doesn’t go get the perfect Christian he goes to the gutters and grabs hold of the drug addicts’ heart and shows them what a real high is.  I thank God every day for grabbing hold of that guy I knew in high school’s heart.  He made him whole again and then gave him a voice so that he could go share his testimony and bring others back to God.  He helped God bring my brother back to me. 

1 John 1:5 God is light and in him there is no darkness. J

No resolutions for this girl!

Happy Happy 2015 yall!

So hard to believe another year has gone by!  When you are little time takes forever and as you get older it just goes way to fast.  My guys and I went to Gatlinburg for Xtreme Winter and it was such a blessing.  A perfect end to a great year and a reminder to start each day with God just as we started 2015 with Him.

I don't see a point in making any resolutions I tend to not keep them, but I have decided to make goals for 2015.  Yes there is a difference between a resolution and a goal.  A resolution is a decision or determination; a resolve: to make a firm resolution to do something.  A goal is something you are trying to achieve or a desired result.  A few of my year long goals are...

1.  Spend time with God each morning.  I am not a morning person and usually get up with just enough time to get ready and grab breakfast as I walk out the door.

2.  End my day with God.  I usually study my lesson at night after everyone is in bed so this goal will be easy for me.

3.  I want to run at least 15 races in 2015.  

4.  Get to my goal weight and maintain it.  I am only 7 pounds away...

5.  Pray for things I can't change.  Things are always happening that make you feel for another person or want to scream at a person.  I want to learn to hold my tongue and say a prayer.

6.  Judge no one!  I am pretty good about this, but sometimes I still catch myself judging so I need to work on it more.  I may be wrong, but I really feel that no matter how we feel about something someone else is doing we should NOT judge them.  The bible tells us over and over to love everyone and judge no one.

I also want to do monthly goals.  I think this will help me reach some of my year long goals.

January Goals:

1.  Stick to my training plan no matter what.  No excuses!

2.  Run 58 miles

3.  Date Night

4. Lose 2 pounds

5. Have dinner together at the table at least 3 nights a week.  Between baseball practice and work schedules this has been difficult for us so I am making it a goal.  Family time is important.

6.  Deep clean a room a week

Do you have goals for 2015?  What are they?  Any advice for helping me maintain my goals?

So I run with purpose in every step. 1 Corinthians 9:26

Sunday Scriptures

What a wonderful message we got from our guest speaker, Aaron Coe at church this morning! We need to start with ourselves! We need to be on a mission with God. He read from Philippians 2:3-11. We need to be working with Jesus to build his church! Some of the highlights I got from today's sermon are:

v. 3 says we don't need to selfish or try to impress. We need to be humble and consider others better then ourselves.
v. 4 tells us to look out for others not just ourselves.
v. 5 tells us we need to have the same attitude that Jesus had. How do we do that?
v. 6-8 tells us how we need to play the role we are given and our position has to be negotiable.
v. 9-11 shows that Jesus' purpose was exaltation. God elevated Him above all. Every knee shall bow, every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.

I want to work to help build His church. I want to help more people know who He is. I am going to start with myself by studying His Word more so that I can share it with others. I will also pray daily for all ears to hear the word of the Lord.

I hope that each of you were blessed this morning and that that blessing will carry you throughout your week!

In Him!

Marvelous Monday

Luke 1: 26-38

This is the story of the angel, Gabriel coming to

tell Mary that she will become pregnant with a son and he will be the Son of the Most High. Pastor Paul told us about 3 things that Mary discovers:

1. God's plans are eternal.

2. God's promises are unfailing.

3. God's Power is unlimited.

Luke 1:37 is one of my favorite vereses in the Bible.

"For nothing is impossible with God."

As I start this week I need to remind myself that nothing is impossible with God and that he is eternal, unfailing and unlimited!

May God Bless You!